The program WandOland features a couple who have endured many life challenges. “Pa Top Patinya” and “Peemai Sumnarat” From stories about love overdosing almost to the point of death due to drugs, to expressing love through words versus actions, they answer questions never discussed before: What do you wish your partner tried harder at? How essential is saying 'I love you' in a relationship? And what small things always make you smile, creating shared understanding?
What important lessons did you learn from childhood love?
Peemai Sumnarat: When I first experienced love, it was very confusing. I didn’t know what I wanted or didn’t want. I’d never understood what was good—the good was just ideas in my head, and the bad I saw from my parents. New things were confusing. At first, I thought dating was just casual, but once I loved, I gave my all, forgetting my own worth and myself. Love felt very important and immense; I invested everything. I don’t know why, but when I met him, I hadn’t yet corrected those lessons—I still gave my all.
Whether you call it childhood or not, it was a critical trauma. When love comes, you want it so badly that you give everything, especially after marriage. We dated six months, then married, and I gave my all—life or death like that. If he hadn’t stopped, I would have died with it because he was using me. If I couldn’t get him to stop, and everyone else had tried and failed, I gave myself to him because he said he loved me. If he wanted a good life for me, he had to make it good. It depended on him. He used one, I used two. He used two, I used three. Whenever he used, I used too.
Was it a whole year?
Pa Top Patinya: One and a half years.
Have you ever come close to death?
Peemai Sumnarat: Yes, from overdose.
Pa Top Patinya: The love overdose was when Peemai overdosed. That was the day I changed direction when I saw her seize.
Peemai Sumnarat: He saw me before I used drugs, when he first courted me. I was bright like a blooming flower. When I started using, I became a dying flower—and he saw it all. It was like he saw the cycle through me.
Is there anything you'd want your partner to try harder at?
Pa Top Patinya: Talk to me more about the knowledge Peemai gains. Whenever she shares what she’s learned, read, or written, I feel so happy and proud. She’s smart and well-read, recently starting work in the energy sector with deep knowledge. When she talks to me, I’m proud. So, talk to me more.
If today you had to part, would you prefer parting in life or parting in death?
Woody: I’d choose parting in death because that means I see you go and die before my eyes. I don’t want to separate in life and never meet again. I want to see you leave this body, which makes it feel complete and final. If we parted in life, still in this world but not talking, I’d suffer a lot. Many people, no matter their life stage, feel lighter hearing questions like this, Pa Top. It confirms the bond again. Some couples don’t talk or listen to such topics.
Pa Top Patinya: I can’t handle parting in life because I’d have to spy on who she’s with, forbid her from having others, get jealous. But parting in death, at least I know she’s left this body and I can stand ready to receive her. I’d be the one to greet her as she passes, because everyone is scared at that moment.
Peemai Sumnarat: But if I die first, won’t I stay by your side? I’d be like an angel.
Pa Top Patinya: Don’t say that, dear—that’s my joke. If I die first and you have a new partner, I’ll possess the new partner’s body. You can’t escape me (laughs).
If a beautiful woman walks by, can’t you express that she’s beautiful?
Peemai Sumnarat: No, it’s not appropriate to openly admire. She’s beautiful and naturally so, but no need to openly gush.
Can you say this woman is beautiful?
Peemai Sumnarat: I can say it because I don’t think anything of it.
Pa Top Patinya: I don’t think anything either; just say she’s beautiful (laughs).
How essential is saying 'I love you' in a relationship?
Oat: My love language isn’t words or verbal expressions. So, saying 'I love you' isn’t as important as just being there and doing things that clearly show love. For me, love language is acts, but I know for you words are important. Saying 'I love you' isn’t necessary for me, but I do it because it’s necessary for those I love.
Woody: I used to wonder why he never said 'I love you' as much as I did. I’d say it all day. Then, he wouldn’t say it at all, and I felt guilty for saying too much. Then we talked about the five love languages. He said his is Acts of Service.
Oat: Like helping, managing, doing things for you. Sometimes I wonder why he doesn’t do anything for me, but I know it’s not his language.
Woody: The five love languages are 1) Physical touch, 2) Receiving gifts, 3) Words of affirmation, which is verbal love,
Do you sometimes speak, or do you only show love through actions?
Oat: I only act. I don’t often speak because I didn’t see the importance before. That’s a weakness in our relationship. I didn’t know how important it was to him, so I didn’t say it. He didn’t feel loved, and I felt like I was showing love in every way but he didn’t receive it or say anything.
How does it feel when you say it?
Oat: A little embarrassed—not childish, but only when it’s the right moment to genuinely express feelings. I don’t say it casually.
Pa Top Patinya: Before telling someone 'I love you,' for example about energy, you must speak from the heart—wake that feeling inside with tone, breath, or other ways, direct the energy there, then say 'I love you.' It’s different from just saying 'I love you'—the receiver feels it differently. I used to think love had to be given materially. But then I got stuck because giving is not understood by the receiver. When I cook for her, I think it’s love. But she might not see cooking as love and feel she’s not receiving it. So I expected appreciation but she didn’t know it was love. Later, I learned to say 'I love you' clearly, to just say it. I wasn’t comfortable before because people who said it to me before didn’t mean it—they said 'love you' but left me. That’s why when someone says 'I love you' now, I accept it.
Peemai Sumnarat: If Oat makes something for Woody with love, can he say 'I love you' then? Saying it along with the action makes it natural, so Woody knows we did it out of love.
Woody: So, the fourth love language is Acts of Service, and the fifth is quality time.
Do you want children, a family, or pets?
Peemai Sumnarat: I don’t want children. I already have a younger sister and a family we built together. My old family is still there. We have many pets—birds, dogs, cats.
How does he show love to you?
Peemai Sumnarat: Mostly by spending time together. We like to be with each other, and when free, hang out together, cuddling with the birds, dogs, and cats. We like being affectionate.
Pa Top Patinya: I just recently understood being a cat servant. The cats command me completely. When one looks at me, I come running and drop everything. Walking home, seeing cats sleeping in their corners—I call it the cat corner. On stressful days, I visit the cat corner, play with cats, give them energy, watch their body language, see if they’re happy, and let my brain rest—the limbic brain. Stop talking for a bit and be with pets—they heal us.
Peemai Sumnarat: Having pets gives us roles as parents, sharing activities: you groom, you clean, you clip nails. We love sharing caring for something. When they’re healthy, we’re happy; when they’re sick, we’re worried. They hold our memories and are part of our family, like our children.
What small things always make you smile?
Pa Top Patinya: Just looking into her eyes and seeing her smile. I remember the first day we met—when I turned and caught her gaze among many people and makeup artists. I thought, do I know this woman? Who is she that her eyes shine so brightly?
Did you feel a spark at first sight?
Peemai Sumnarat: Not really. When he started speaking again, I still didn’t believe him. He courted me sweetly and kept insisting it was true.
Pa Top Patinya: I felt the spark immediately. Another thing that always makes me smile is the hope of having a family together in our forest-water home.
What does hope mean since you already have a family?
Pa Top Patinya: When we’re 60, we want our own home, our boundaries. A safe place where we can cry or laugh, learn to listen and live for each other, doing all five things Woody mentioned to be complete. A place friends want to come because they’re happy there. They can say anything, cry without judgment, laugh, or come heartbroken. We want that kind of home.
Peemai Sumnarat: We want to build our own kingdom—not a big one, but one in our hearts. We’ll keep our sacred objects there. We want a safe place for people to develop mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom, to overcome suffering, living among water and forest. A place that’s both a dream and hope, not just for us but to share with others.
Pa Top Patinya: The therapy room we see, to me it’s water and trees, the sound of wind rustling leaves, butterflies everywhere. That’s how it should be. People who stay with me all day or sometimes overnight will leave feeling guided to live with more mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom.
How long have you stopped drinking?
Pa Top Patinya: Do you remember when you celebrated on the boat with me? Soon it’ll be my 15th anniversary of quitting everything.
Did quitting alcohol mean quitting your flair too?
Peemai Sumnarat: Quit everything. I quit everything and became new.
Pa Top Patinya: I court Peemai every day.
Does Oat court Woody every day?
Oat: Honestly, sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I start courting and halfway forget—I have a short attention span (laughs).
Is Pa Top old-fashioned and proud?
Peemai Sumnarat: He’s old-fashioned and very proud, though he seems wild. Actually, he’s very selective and particular. His energy must be right. He’s picky and who would want to touch or hug him? He’s very protective of himself.
Pa Top Patinya: This clears up all rumors about me being wild, flirtatious, or choosy with women—I am a chooser, right?
Peemai Sumnarat: Yes, very choosy. Before he quit drugs, I didn’t know him. But now he’s very selective.
Pa Top Patinya: I’ve always been protective of myself. It’s probably a childhood trauma—serious issues about lack of nurturing, care, warmth, hugs, and acceptance.
Watch the clip.
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