The singer and actress Plaeng Chonmatida Asavahame opened up in detail about the reasons behind ending her long-term 7-year relationship on the “Club Friday Show” aired on One 31 channel, with three hosts: DJ Pee Chod Saitip, DJ Aoy Napaporn, Aun Phuwanart, and accompanied by her mother, the acclaimed diva singer Tu Nantida Kaewbuasai. She also joined the conversation.
At one point, DJ Aoy asked if the past relationship could truly be called a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Plaeng said it was very close to being life partners. DJ Aoy asked what made her feel that this person was almost beyond boyfriend to life partner. Plaeng replied, “I think we've been on this journey for 7 years, not including the time we met as kids at Spark. So for these 7 years we've grown up together through many phases of life. Now at age 30, I feel I can fully call myself an adult. I feel we've been through so much together, so I looked ahead and thought, this is my life partner.”
Plaeng said she was happy. She believes every relationship has good moments and lessons. So when she had the chance to love, she felt it was real and good at that time. But as time passed, as we grow and change in many ways—our values may shift, our life goals may change, and the society we live in may also transform—it may shape us into someone different. But during the love, she dares to say she was happy and grateful for the good things that happened.”
DJ Aoy asked if there were signs that problems were starting. Plaeng answered, “Actually, we weren't a couple who argued a lot or had many problems. But sometimes, at a certain point, we felt it wasn’t the same anymore—it had changed. Like time, attention, even feelings. Sometimes I felt, why do I feel so lonely and isolated in this relationship? Even though being in a relationship should bring comfort, why do I come home and feel like I’m alone? Like I’m waiting for something, with no one to share things with, no longer feeling the warmth I used to. That hadn’t happened before.”
She continued, “I was living with that feeling and tried to reason it out. He was doing his part, and I knew where we were heading, what our goals were. So I tried to find reasons to explain this feeling. My mom always told me not to be foolish and not to let emotions govern everything.”
“So when I wanted to discuss something to improve the relationship, I would break down my feelings first. Normally, when someone is angry or upset, they speak immediately. But for me, I analyze what caused the hurt, which actions felt draining. I digest it first, then bring the thoughts up to talk about. So I never speak out of emotion, never start arguments, because arguing without improvement is pointless. If we talk, it must lead to something better for us.”
“One day when he was no longer there, I remember telling my mom, it’s strange that I didn’t cry hysterically because I had been feeling this way for so long I got used to it. It was like I had already cried inside enough, so when he was gone, it didn’t feel different anymore.”
DJ Aoy asked if she saw what caused the problems. Plaeng explained, “For example, if we both value family, one might say, ‘I’m doing everything for my family, sacrificing all my time for them.’ For me, family means coming home to care for the people there, being by their side in sickness or emergencies, sharing happy and hard times together. That’s family to me.”
“But for others, doing it for family might mean working to protect inheritance and family reputation, to grow the family legacy. So we both work for family, but for me, family is the home and the people waiting there. For the other person, family might not mean the same. These differences gradually led us to drift apart.”
DJ Pee Chod asked if there were moments when emotions flared. Plaeng said, “Yes, but very few. Maybe because it’s hot now, so we don’t talk. Then I reflect why I got so angry, because I believe in relationships, whether man or woman, no one gets angry strongly without reason.”
“Did I speak out? Yes. But sometimes the receiver’s wavelength is off, always trying to be logical, which doesn’t work because I’m not a robot.”
DJ Pee Chod asked how long it took to reach the breakup point. Plaeng said, “I spent a long time reflecting on what I needed to endure. Good love is based on understanding, respect, and honesty. Those are the basic foundations of love, the minimum standard. So I realized I should save endurance for other things that truly require it, but not for the basic foundation of love. I shouldn’t have to endure or blindly tolerate those.”
DJ Aoy asked Tu Nantida if she noticed the problems with Plaeng. Tu said, “Somewhat, yes.” Asked if she intervened, Tu replied, “No, it’s up to my daughter. She sent signals sometimes, but no warning signs. That was a real surprise.” Aun Phuwanart asked what she meant by surprise. Plaeng answered,“That day was surprising because it was unexpected. It was an ordinary day. I had just gone to try on a wedding dress. He said he wasn’t ready and asked for time. It was an open-ended answer, open to interpretation.”
Tu Nantida added, “At that time, Plaeng said to me, ‘Mom, I’m giving love three more months, but there’s no answer.’ So we just let it be quietly. Plaeng said she had many questions but no tangible answers, only ‘not ready, need time.’ DJ Pee Chod said there was a phrase from you that made Plaeng stop there, which Tu Nantida explained:“No one regrets crying their heart out over love. Don’t beg for love from someone you once loved. Don’t beg for it. When love is gone, it’s gone.”
Asked how she talked to herself then, Plaeng said, “I called it a vacuum period. I gave it at least 3 months, up to 6 months. During this time, don’t overthink. Today, this is the information, that’s it. No rushing to conclusions; let everything flow naturally when we are ready. During that time in the relationship, we didn’t talk at all. I walked away, unplugged myself, no messages exchanged—not by agreement, just walking away. He made his choice with ‘not ready.’ I didn’t know what else to ask.”
DJ Aoy asked who first said it was okay if no decision was made. Plaeng raised her hand and said, “I did. I felt that what society said about us conflicted with what I understood. Society called it a delay, but the other party said he was single. The stories didn’t match. I wanted to talk because rumors spread widely, but I hadn’t got an answer yet. Whatever decision, let’s talk for clarity.”
“That day when I chose to reach out, I was ready. No matter the answer, I also had wedding dresses that I hadn’t picked up yet. So I needed to know the plan, to inform the right people. As I said, we have to take responsibility for what we do, whether to hold the event or not. So I asked for clarity.”He replied, ‘It’s not that I don’t love you, but I’m not ready today and need time.’ He asked to keep the wedding dress but wanted to end the relationship.”“What I learned from this love is to look at actions more than words. That was my lesson. I felt that day the actions were very clear.”
Click to readEntertainment news. Additional