"WandOland" Inviting you to explore the married life of “Nu Mam Surivipa” and “Bobby Robert” through a conversation that goes deeper than love itself—about accepting differences and choosing to adapt to each other. Their relationship has lasted 35 years, transforming a woman who once never flew on planes into someone brave enough to explore life because he stands by her side. What should be let go? What must be preserved? And how much should a good love allow us to be ourselves? From the moment they decided to entrust their lives to each other, through small reasons that built their confidence to walk together, to the lesson that no one is perfect 100%.
What is a dream you haven’t yet shared with the other person?
Nu Mam: We don’t really have a formal dream we’ve discussed seriously. We just feel like we want to travel together, just the two of us, far and wide around the world, continuously. It’s not exactly a dream, but we talk about it often. Daddy, I want to travel with you. Sometimes just the two of us. Maybe because we’ve done a lot already, now we just want to relax. So it’s a dream of relaxation.
Do you have things you’d do if he weren’t in your life?
Nu Mam: I’ve never thought about it, nor dared to do anything without Bobby. We still talk every day. Bobby often asks if I like being with him, and I say yes. Sometimes we dive together. Without Bobby, I wouldn’t dive at all because I wouldn’t know where to start. I feel that for many things, especially adventurous ones, I wouldn’t do them without Bobby. If I hadn’t married Bobby, I don’t think I would have flown to travel at all because I was afraid of flying. I’d probably be a woman who just works and waits to grow old, thinking I’ll just be beautiful when I’m old. That beauty is already around us, but without a buddy to take me places, life wouldn’t be as fun.
Bobby: Before I met Mam, she never did anything. She didn’t exercise or walk in parks, just worked and went home every day. When I took her to Europe on our honeymoon, it was her first time traveling; she only worked before.
Nu Mam: I even thought I couldn’t get on a plane alone. I was afraid of everything I couldn’t control. I’m a controlling person, born to control. I think of myself that way, so it became true. I have to control everything: stand still, touch the ground, stay here. Why dive? How do you breathe? Without Bobby, I couldn’t do it.
If you were to describe your relationship as a color, what would it be?
Nu Mam: Rainbow.
Bobby: We have to follow the rainbow's colors. It has every flavor. Even though we’ve known each other for 30 years, our relationship still has ups and downs daily, varying by season. No day has been the same throughout these 35 years.
Do you still complain to each other?
Nu Mam: Don’t use the word 'complain.' It’s too disrespectful to our relationship. Let’s call it arguing and laughing together.
Bobby: Even after 35 years, she still complains about the same things every day. For example, I just finished showering and stepped out, and the floor is wet. 'Why is the floor wet?' I just came out. The bathroom is wet because I just showered. 'Why is the underwear there? Why didn’t you turn off the air conditioner? Why not open the window? Why didn’t you turn off the light? Why not open the cat door? Why not lock the door?' Every day.
You have to live with it, right?
Nu Mam: For a long time, enduring together, and we endure.
Bobby: For example, if I’m lying in bed wearing my CPAP machine and she asks, 'Did you lock the front door?' I say, 'Why ask now? I’m about to sleep.' (laughs) I tell Mam, if you want to know, go check yourself. I’m going to sleep.
Nu Mam: Later, Bobby learned how to handle it.
Bobby: She does this a lot. I’m watching TV, and suddenly she comes in to change the light. She likes yellow lights, not white.
Nu Mam: Even yellow versus white light is a problem for our home. Bobby has to turn on every room with bright white light. If he’s home, he turns on all the lights so we can see clearly, not yellow.
Bobby: So I just sit quietly and let her do it.
If you could go back to any age in your life, which age would you choose?
Oat: I think it would be the age when we just started dating, probably in our late 20s.
Why that period? What feelings define it?
Oat: As we grew up, we gained confidence in ourselves and our preferences. Meeting someone as a first romance means a romantic phase. It feels like everything is fulfilling, complete, and the world is still bright. The future looks promising.
Have you decided on that yet?
Oat: Not yet. We’d just started dating and meeting. There was still much to explore, and the future was uncertain, but it seemed likely to be good.
How long did it take from then until you decided, "Yes, this is right"?
Oat: We dated for over 8 years before deciding to marry. Not a formal legal ceremony yet, but both of us agreed to entrust our lives to each other.
Was there an event or something that made you sure you could entrust your life to this person?
Nu Mam: Some people decide to entrust their lives to someone for broad, big reasons. For me, the big reason was the importance of overcoming problems together. I chose this man for my life, and I knew he could take care of me for life from just one event. No need to learn much more. We’d known each other for over a year, and it was the first time Bobby was taking me to his relatives’ home. There was a very fierce dog named Coco, known to bite strangers.
That day was my first time at P’ Pan's house with Coco there. Bobby said, 'We have my dad, me, and Nu Mam here.' This event made me believe this man could protect me safely. He told his dad in English, 'You walk ahead. Let Mam be in the middle, and I'll stay behind. If Coco comes, I'll kick Coco myself.' I’d never had a man kick a dog for me before. He’s the one who will take care of me for life because he kicked the dog for me. I decided then and there. I asked Bobby, 'Are you serious about courting me? Because we've come this far. If you're serious, I will be too.' The next day, I decided because of the dog-kicking incident. Nothing big, but sometimes small things make us feel secure. That’s why I asked.
What small daily things are you thankful for?
Woody: Thankful for having a bed to sleep in, a home to live in, and a good relationship with my partner. Grateful that I can still take care of my parents and family. Also thankful that being kind to myself helps me survive each day.
Nu Mam: Can I use this last one? Sometimes I finally feel thankful for myself. Thank you for that. I’ll use it every day—thank you, myself.
Bobby: I forget sometimes, focusing on others. We make others forget to thank themselves.
What would you like to thank Bobby for?
Bobby: For being able to control everything to this extent.
Nu Mam: Same here. Thank you for being yourself and for everything you’ve done. Sometimes we forget to hug ourselves. There was a time when we faced crises. Everyone faces many crises, and I’m one of those who went through many. Having a chance to thank and hug myself might come from practice. When we are overwhelmed or chaotic, we forget ourselves first. Sometimes I’m just a little girl who has come this far. Thank you for being strong and capable. I believe I am strong.
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