Revealing the modern parenting style of content-creator dad Tu Poptorn on the show MY DADDY James, from not spanking the kids and not using screens as babysitters, to instilling discipline and responsibility. He emphasized that parents' role is not to force children to excel but to provide tools for life so they grow up quality and happy in their own way.
On social media, he’s known for humorous content—does real life match that?
"When playing with them, I fully engage until P'Nuch knows that my main job is playing. It seems easy but it's actually tiring. Because I work a lot and don't have much time to always look after them like P'Nuch does. Now the youngest likes crafts, so I have to join in, helping cut materials.
The eldest prefers more active play, like swinging or cycling. Both have totally different interests. The challenge isn't the play itself but how I split myself to play with both."
Since the children have different interests, do they play together sometimes?
"Sometimes. They play together on some things, but I notice when the elder enjoys something a lot, the younger sits and tries to join in, but after a while, he breaks off to do something else."
Is the dad the lenient one and the mom stricter with the kids?
"It’s different modes. I’m more serious. P'Nuch is stricter about daily routines, like reminding them to brush their teeth or when they delay, sometimes nagging. I’m the one who tells them firmly to do what they should or gives serious lessons."
When serious talks with the kids are needed, do you address it immediately?
"There’s a right time. From online research, if they do something wrong, we avoid correcting them immediately because they might resist. If we scold right away, they become scared rather than listen. We wait until they calm down. The best time is before bedtime, when we can talk calmly."
Do both children respond similarly to this approach?
"Not the same. One day, the eldest brought snacks to show mom. His loose tooth was about to fall, and he wanted to bite the snack because he saw me demonstrate that biting a loose tooth makes it fall out. He bought the snack but wasn’t planning to eat it as it was bedtime. We thought he was going to eat it, so I told him not to eat it late. My tone was a bit stern. He felt sad and asked why I scolded him when he just wanted to show mom.
He’s sensitive. I explained I thought he was going to eat it, but he was just showing it and telling mom. For the youngest, yesterday we asked him to tidy toys before bed. Playing isn’t tiring, but tidying wipes him out immediately. We set levels to encourage him, making it fun. When I start to scold, he pretends to growl playfully but actually I don’t play along. If he gets annoyed, we start teaching. The eldest resists more than the youngest. Sometimes I feel like giving up on being patient and non-punitive, thinking 'let it go, I’ll clean it later,' but I know if I let this slide, it will keep happening. So I push myself to say, 'Okay, if you don’t tidy tonight, you’ll stay up late, and Daddy will wait until you do, so tomorrow you’ll be tired at school.'"
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If you don’t punish your child, what do you do instead?
"There are things that require punishment, but not necessarily with hitting. For example, if they fight or get angry and hit, they get punished. There’s no hitting in our home. Punishment might be restricting screen time for days or a week, which takes away something they enjoy. They understand they deserve the consequence."
You studied abroad—do you apply your experiences there to raising your kids?
"I worked part-time since I was a kid and started full-time work while finishing high school. I feel having a job gives discipline and maturity. When kids have some money and want to buy something, they start to think if it’s worth it and how long they need to save. If they want a dog, they learn what they must do to achieve that."
Are you serious about Thai manners with your kids?
"Not overly, but since they attend an international school, some of these things fade, like the wai (Thai greeting). I’m not sure how much the school teaches it because the teachers are foreign—English and Filipino—with few Thai kids in lower grades. Thai culture is minimal. I feel some things remain important. Thai kids tend to be more humble.
I’m not sure how modern kids view the wai, but it’s a charming part of Thai culture. I don’t want them to be overly shy; they should be confident and expressive but still understand Thai customs. I try to teach them, though sometimes they do the wai awkwardly. It’s one thing I keep working on."
At home, we try to speak Thai because they might weaken their Thai skills otherwise. The international school teaches Thai only a few days a week, which is a pity because being Thai and attending an international school, they should be proficient in both languages. They might even need to learn Chinese these days."
What are the three main lessons you want to pass on to your children?
"First, self-worth. As my daughters, I want them to know their value, never let anyone belittle them, or push them to do things they feel are wrong or beneath them. This is the main lesson.
Second is self-discipline. Third is being a good person. This is a big topic — teaching them to be kind. The timing is more important than deciding the order of lessons. It comes naturally when we listen and talk about their day, who made them smile at school, or if anything upset them.
We talk often so they feel safe to share worries. Then we know what to teach next. Some parents don’t have this time, so I say you should make time for your kids. Play is important to me, but best of all is having time to talk with them."
Do you hope your kids join the entertainment industry?
James Ji: "Personally, I don't expect that. It depends on them. The entertainment industry has pros and cons—not the industry’s fault but how it affects your mind when you're in it."
Tu Poptorn: "Exactly. That’s why I don’t force or push them to do anything if they’re unhappy. We stop immediately. If there’s a job, I inform them well in advance. For example, if there’s a brand endorsement, I tell them we have this job and there will be payment, but the money won’t be theirs to spend—it’s saved for their future, like university. They are happy to do it and get a small incentive. They have some occasional shoots but not often. For other content, I’m less involved because it’s not only about them but also about me. I separate my roles as a dad playing with kids and as a host or actor working, since my behavior differs in each. So I prefer not to film when with my kids, but I never force or expect anything from them. I just want to give them as many life tools as possible—school, experiences—so they know what they like."
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How do you handle your kids’ mobile phone use as a content-creator dad?
"Before, we tried to lure them with screens, but now we just say no. We don’t allow screens during meals to keep them still, nor at restaurants with friends unless many kids watch together.
At home or outside, no screen use during meals. No TV at mealtime because it’s a time to communicate and spend time together. They have designated screen time on weekends for 45 minutes to an hour."
At what age should kids have their own phone?
"I think age 16. If earlier, maybe a non-smartphone to keep them away from social media as long as possible. If they want to create content or are older, I’m not fully supportive. If unavoidable, maybe an iPad for tasks, not for private use."
What if your child wants to be a TikToker soon?
"If they want to do something like talking or dancing, I’d say go learn dance properly, not just copying simple TikTok moves. It should involve skills. If they like making clips, do they want to learn editing? Or study AI prompts? They should gain more than just ‘I want to do this’ without training."
Why do you emphasize patience and discipline?
"Because real life is like that. You can’t do things hastily or expect instant wealth or fame. No one sets your life up for you to be comfortable right away. Kids must learn that everything has origins and timing, and you must earn what you want by training and effort. People only show results, like making a clip and earning 100,000 baht a month, which may be true for some but not all, or else everyone would be rich."
How do you manage your time to care for your kids?
"They wait for me, but it depends. Sometimes they are busy with friends. If I’m away for two or three days due to work, when I return, they run and hug me. Like yesterday, the youngest who normally doesn’t do that hugged me first. Those moments feel like rewards. As for time management, whether much or little, if I give them 100%, it’s enough."
Which child inherited your musical talent?
"The eldest, Risa, likes playing piano and is currently taking lessons. She said she’d practice on her own. We hired a teacher. It started when she saw me singing in a play but wasn’t that into it. Since her school offers piano, we added extra lessons. Sometimes she wants to quit but we encourage her to continue for her own benefit. The youngest also learns but prefers singing and hums her own songs constantly."
How do you help your kids through moments of discouragement?
"I tell them they must continue. The teacher will come in the evening, and they must study. I teach that once you start something, I don’t want you to give up easily. They don’t realize it never ends—you don’t become a master pianist without continuous practice. This idea came from seeing other kids excelling and wanting to learn. If a child isn’t happy, we don’t force them."
At first, they may be unhappy with forced activities, but we consider if they have talent or interest. If they seem interested but quit out of laziness, we have to push because all kids are lazy and want to play with friends. Once they get past that point, they start to enjoy and build on it."
If they show interest but we let them quit, they won’t develop skills. Not everyone knows from birth what they want, so it’s our job to keep inspiring them. If we see a spark, it becomes evident in their learning."
Anything you want to say to your children and wife?
"Many comment how lucky P'Nuch is to have me as a husband, but they don’t see the less good sides. Nuch tries to adjust and understand me. I’m a bit neurotic and demanding sometimes, and I appreciate her efforts. Sorry if I’m sometimes emotional. I’m working on improving and being a better husband and father."
"If the kids see this when they’re grown, I want them to know that their mom and dad love them the most in the world and are very proud of them. I want them to live happily in their own way. I’m happy, and it starts with ourselves because we are the best example for them. Our behavior reflects on them, so it begins with us."
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