From a couple to parents of two, Bie Thassapak and Kubkib Sumonthip affirm that over the past 10 years, the one thing that has never disappeared is their bond as lovers. They revealed their ironclad rule in their relationship: no matter how intense the fights, they never threaten to break up. On the show “WandOland,” they shared how they maintain their relationship as life partners, best friends, and a team raising their children together. For them, having children doesn't mean stopping loving each other as a couple.
How do you maintain teamwork in parenting and as a couple?
Kubkib Sumonthip: I can say our household has very strong teamwork. We clearly divide responsibilities. Our child once said this didn’t come from me, but that when he’s with Bie, he feels like he can do all sorts of fun, exciting, and enjoyable activities with his dad.
But with mom, it’s more about comforting, chatting, having fun, being feminine, talking about everything, listening, and laughing. He said if one day we were apart, he couldn’t choose who to be with because he feels he needs both parents. Our kids told me that mom and dad must not separate. Being together, they feel our family is the best for them. From that, we realized we divide tasks according to our preferences and strengths.
Bie Thassapak: Actually, our personalities are quite different, which makes teamwork possible. You’re good at this, so you take care of this part of the kids.
Kubkib Sumonthip: But even if one is not good at something, we try to understand and adapt to each other, blending well. I think teamwork comes from communication, talking, and not being closed-minded. We continuously adapt with our kids and new things we learn. If one method doesn’t work well, we talk and adjust. Sometimes you adjust, sometimes I adjust.
Bie Thassapak: I’ve learned a lot because having two daughters means details I’ve never encountered before. It’s about girls’ issues I didn’t know, with such delicate details.
Kubkib Sumonthip: I think the lovely thing about Bie is that he understands and tries to understand. I also try. It’s been 10 years now.
How do you create a safe space at home for your children?
Kubkib Sumonthip: One thing we often discuss and I want to share is that when we talk, I don’t want anyone to feel like we’re lecturing. We’re just sharing our perspective about our home. One thing that really works and the kids respond to is that they say this home belongs to them. Many parents mistakenly think the house is theirs because they bought or built it. The kids are just residents.
But actually, it’s everyone’s home. Everyone must be themselves. Kids should feel this is a safe space where they can be themselves, dare to think, speak, make mistakes, and do anything without judgment from anyone at home. We gradually guide them into the family rules that everyone follows equally.
It’s not that kids have no rights here. We constantly remind each other that how this home is isn’t decided by you or me alone. We all must come in and maintain a stable, safe environment. So kids don’t feel like they want to leave because this is their home, not just their parents’.
Bie Thassapak: Sometimes we must not apply adult standards we’ve learned or assume kids understand or think like us, expecting their minds to be as mature as ours. Sometimes we overdo it. It’s something we must learn together.
What kind of behavior do you think your kids like most from you?
Bie Thassapak: Acting cute, because I like to tease them. They like when I act cute.
Kubkib Sumonthip: It’s mischievous.
Bie Thassapak: Because my fingers are short, when I do things, they tease me.
Kubkib Sumonthip: It’s a good contrast. I think it’s a manly charm. When I see him act cute and playful like that, I like it. When he first courted me, he was very cute. I had never met a man so cute before.
Bie Thassapak: When we’re outside with people, we put on a bit of a front, but when I act cute, Kubkib laughs.
Kubkib Sumonthip: When I’m angry, seeing his face makes me tell him to do something funny and cute.
Bie Thassapak: For me, making jokes and making her laugh is probably when she likes me the most. It’s my nature to do funny things to make people at home laugh — whether the kids or her. If there’s any way to make someone laugh, I do it.
Kubkib Sumonthip: We’ve talked that couples should laugh together every day, which I think we do too much of.
Bie Thassapak: Because the drive home takes about an hour and a half, we laugh and talk all the way back. Then we realize none of what we talked about made sense. I have very few close friends. We talk about all kinds of things, and I feel very lucky. I always tell her that she is both my lover and best friend, with whom I share nonsense and laughter every day.
Kubkib Sumonthip: But we’re not just friends who talk about everything; we’re a couple. Some people become just friends and forget the romantic side, but not us. We both take good care of ourselves and show love through physical touch. That love still exists.
Have you ever felt neglected or unimportant?
Kubkib Sumonthip: Nothing serious, but we do tease each other. Since having kids, he loves them so much, hugging and kissing them, even sleeping with them in the middle. I have to tell him, “You kiss the kids but not me anymore, you’ve changed.” Then he quickly comes to kiss me.
We wake up with a morning kiss and kiss before bed, but during the day I just want it all the time. I tease him when he hugs and kisses the kids, saying he’s changed, and he quickly comes over. I like saying we must kiss before going to work every time.
His cuteness is that he’s afraid to wake me, but my feeling is that Bie travels a lot for work, sometimes out of town or abroad. We never know what might happen, whether he’ll return or not, or if someone else might be hurt. We don’t want to regret not doing something differently that day. We try to live every day as if it’s the last, giving our all.
How do you maintain consistency and communication to stay close?
Kubkib Sumonthip: I think communication is important. What keeps our home a team is that when one speaks, the other immediately responds. When I say something, Bie realizes it right away and comes over. It keeps everything the same and tight. It’s a connection we must never lose. No excuses; when one talks, the other must respond first and explain later.
He likes holding hands and physical touch, even if we sleep apart with the kids between us, our feet must touch. Before sleeping, we talk. One day I was sick and fell asleep early; he came home around 10 p.m. saying he felt lonely and didn’t know who to talk to. That showed us how important we are to each other, even after talking a lot all day, we must stay connected.
Is childhood the foundation for life quality and reducing your kids’ emotional wounds?
Kubkib Sumonthip: We often talk about trying our best to minimize any emotional wounds our two kids might have. If they don’t have many emotional scars, I believe they will grow well and overcome problems successfully. Suffering stays with us briefly. Our home tries to let go of suffering as quickly as possible.
How does being lovers and best friends help you overcome life’s obstacles?
Bie Thassapak: Beyond being lovers, my relationship with Kubkib is like best friends. Being best friends means sometimes yelling at each other, saying things, or doing silly things to relieve stress from other issues. When we meet best friends, no matter the obstacles, doing silly things together helps forget the bad stuff. That’s how Kubkib and I are.
When facing stress or obstacles, it helps us forget a lot. I’m very happy that we are both lovers and best friends, and when we meet, life’s problems melt away. This is very important. As people grow, their circle shrinks because they focus on certain things and friends don’t always share the same path, so chances to meet lessen. Being both lover and best friend is very lucky.
Kubkib Sumonthip: Mainly, don’t judge each other because we never truly know how the other feels. Sometimes we judge from our own perspective without standing in the other’s shoes. Many times I was confident and thought I was right, but over time Bie’s thoughts were more accurate. If I had followed Bie’s advice from the start, I might have been more at ease or more correct.
So we don’t judge each other. He can be himself, daring to share sad stories, disappointments, or problems without feeling scrutinized. We can talk, adjust, and discuss, creating comfort.
I can tell him anything, knowing he won’t judge. Sometimes he just listens without offering advice but stays there and listens. Being best friends means listening and receiving. It’s the same with parenting. When kids share, we just listen without lecturing. As husband and wife, we are ready to listen to each other.
When you argue, what rule have you agreed never to break?
Kubkib Sumonthip: One thing we’ve never done in 10 years is say "break up." We never threaten to break up or say those words. We’ve never uttered that even once. At worst, we just go silent and stop talking for a bit, but soon we talk again. Especially after having kids, we don’t want them to feel that kind of atmosphere. We have to talk again quickly.
Do you have a rule about what not to do in front of your kids when fighting?
Bie Thassapak: We don’t leave the house. At most, we separate and stay silent for a while, then come back to talk.
Kubkib Sumonthip: There’s one rule: never insult the other’s parents. We never say anything hurtful because words cannot be taken back. Everyone loves their parents regardless of the problem’s source. We never bring up that issue. It’s 100% forbidden, no matter what.
Do you think your partner secretly fears anything they’ve never spoken about?
Kubkib Sumonthip: Ultimately, health is most important. Nothing is more important than physical health. We always say no matter the dreams or money, if health is bad, everything ends. Our home always puts health as the number one priority.
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