Have you ever wondered why many couples who seem well-matched end up saying they are "incompatible"? Or have you ever devoted yourself to doing everything for your partner, even buying expensive gifts, only to have them seem indifferent and complain you don't spend enough time with them? These mistakes often aren't due to a lack of love but because we are communicating in different languages.
Thairath Online introduces the world-renowned psychological theory of love called The 5 Love Languages, which Dr. Gary Chapman developed to help solve the mystery of what your partner truly needs and why "understanding their language" is more important than simply saying "I love you."
Imagine you speak Thai but your partner speaks Chinese. No matter how loudly you shout "I love you," the other person will not understand. Love is the same. Dr. Gary Chapman explains that people perceive and express love in different ways. If we don’t understand this nature, we often force what "we like" onto them, forgetting that it might not be what "they want."
Understanding the five love languages is like tuning a signal so that love reaches the receiver’s heart clearly and accurately.
For those whose primary love language is words, spoken expressions nourish their hearts most deeply. It’s not just saying "I love you," but also compliments, encouragement, and gentleness in tone. These people feel deeply fulfilled when they hear praise like "You look great today" or "Thank you for working so hard for the family." Conversely, harsh words or sarcasm wound them more deeply and for longer than others.
While some prefer sweet words, others find "all talk" meaningless. Those with this love language want to see actions. Helping with daily chores without being asked, driving them somewhere, or peeling shrimp for them—these are clear signs of love. If your partner is this type, simply asking "Is there anything I can help with?" means more than a hundred love declarations.
Don’t misunderstand this group as materialistic. The essence of this love language isn’t the "value" but the "emotional meaning." Gifts symbolize "I’m thinking of you," even when apart. Whether it’s their favorite snack, a small flower picked along the way, or a handmade gift, these make them feel special and remembered.
In an age where everyone’s eyes are glued to their phones, those with this love language crave "undivided attention" from their partner. Sitting side by side while both use phones isn’t quality time for them. They want eye contact, meaningful conversations, or activities without distractions. Putting down your phone and truly listening to them is the loudest way to say "I love you" in their heart.
The final love language is physical touch, which isn’t just about sex but includes all forms of physical closeness. Holding hands, putting an arm around a shoulder, hugging, or simply leaning together while watching TV create feelings of security, safety, and warmth. Without touch, they may feel lonely and disconnected from their partner.
Why does knowing the “love language” revive relationships? Understanding this helps solve the classic couple’s dilemma: “I’ve done so much, why is it still not enough?” It stops us from trying the wrong approach and helps us "scratch where it itches." Filling love in the right language keeps the other person’s "love tank" full. When people feel loved and needed, arguments, resentment, and distance diminish remarkably.
Love isn’t a matter of fate but a skill to learn. Try asking the person beside you today, “What makes you feel most loved?” Their answer might change your relationship forever.