Understanding Emotional Wounds: Comparing Two Ways to Cope After Traumatic Events with Completely Different Outcomes

Coping with emotional wounds after traumatic events involves"empathetic listening"and"trying to forget."These approaches have completely different effects on recovery; understanding their differences helps properly care for mental health.

When facing traumatic events, loss, or crises that severely affect the mind, human reactions to cope and heal oneself or others vary. Two common approaches often used without caution are"trying to forget"and"empathetic listening."

Although both may originate from a genuine desire to quickly relieve someone's pain, psychologically these two coping styles have entirely different impacts on the mental recovery process.

"Trying to forget"can suppress feelings that may cause deeper wounds.

Common phrases such as"Just let it go," "Don't think about it,"or"Try to forget it"are often advised when someone faces emotional trauma. However, psychologists and mental health experts point out that forcing oneself or others to forget painful events often leads to what is called emotional suppression.

The Department of Mental Health states that suppressing traumatic feelings does not make memories disappear but pushes negative memories and emotions into the subconscious, potentially causing long-term harm, such as:

• Rebound effect: The more one tries to forget, the more the subconscious focuses, causing involuntary frequent recall of the event.
• Unexplained physical symptoms: Suppressed stress may manifest as insomnia, nightmares, chronic headaches, or chest tightness.
• Risk of PTSD: Improper emotional processing can develop into post-traumatic stress disorder.

"Empathetic listening"is a powerful tool for sustainable emotional healing.

In contrast to the first approach,"empathetic listening"is the core of psychological first aid according to the World Health Organization (WHO).

It does not mean giving advice or immediately solving problems but involves creatinga "safe space"where affected individuals can naturally express their emotions and feelings, working through psychological processes such as:

• Validation of feelings: Helps those affected feel that their shock, sadness, or anger are normal and understandable.
• Cognitive processing: Sharing or venting helps the brain organize confusing events and emotions, gradually reducing the severity of emotional wounds.
• Reducing loneliness: Having a nonjudgmental, understanding listener builds a sense of safety and social support.

Guidelines for caring for oneself and others after traumatic events

If you or someone close is experiencing trauma from a violent incident, the following psychological principles can be applied:

1. Avoid judgment or rushing: Do not hastily conclude that"it's nothing,"or push the affected person to"be strong"immediately.
2. Use uninterrupted listening: Reflect feelings with brief phrases like"I understand how hard this is"or"It really caught you off guard."
3. Respect silence: If the affected person is not ready to talk, do not force them; instead, show support by being present and ready to help when needed.
4. Seek professional consultation: If symptoms such as depression, insomnia, or heightened startle continue for more than one month, observe warning signs and contact psychologists or psychiatrists.
5. Support channels: Mental Health Hotline 1323 (free 24-hour service) provided by the Department of Mental Health, Ministry of Public Health.