A psychological insight into why elderly people trust outsiders more than their children, causing a cautionary story of secretly taking supplements that worsened cancer. It also offers practical family approaches to improve mutual understanding before it becomes too late.
This issue has sparked widespread public discussion and serves as a cautionary tale after a Facebook user shared their frustration over a common family problem—that elderly people tend to trust outsiders more than their own children.
The story explains that the poster's father is undergoing treatment for "lymphoma in the stomach" at a hospital. The treatment was progressing well, having completed 5 out of 8 chemotherapy and targeted therapy sessions. The attending physician confirmed the body was responding well to the medication. However, the latest CT scan shocked the family by showing the largest tumor had grown, accompanied by acute pancreatitis complications, vomiting, and abdominal pain, forcing doctors to temporarily halt cancer treatment.
Upon investigation, it was discovered that the patient had secretly taken three types of supplements for over two months, following advice from a "well-meaning person," without informing family or consulting doctors for fear of being forbidden. This left the family bearing the risk of cancer progression during the primary treatment pause and increased medical expenses for complications, while the adviser took no responsibility.
However, the problem of elderly people falling for misleading advertisements or advice from outsiders is not new. Statistics from Thailand's complaint center show that 60-70% of victims in cases involving substandard health products (without FDA approval) or exaggerated advertising are elderly, as they have more free time to consume media and purchasing power but often lack proper information verification.
The question that puzzles many children is: "Why do years of medical warnings or daily advice from their children carry less weight than a one-minute social media clip or words from outsiders?" Psychology and behavioral science offer five explanations for this.
Children often communicate with good intentions but use prohibitive or sarcastic tones such as "Don't eat that" or "How many times have I told you?" causing the elderly to feel scolded and devalued. Conversely, scammers or outsiders use gentle, flattering language and sincere concern, fulfilling psychological needs more effectively.
Elderly people repeatedly watch clips from influencers, TikTok stars, or life coaches daily. The soft voice, friendly persuasion, and expressed concern through the screen create a sense of closeness, as if the person in the clip is a "close friend" or "relative." This contrasts with hospital doctors who use legal or academic language, have limited time, and maintain a serious, formal demeanor.
Doctors explain illnesses with facts like "This disease is incurable; we can only manage it, and chemotherapy may cause side effects," which can be discouraging. On the other hand, influencers or supplement sellers use hopeful phrases such as "Taking this will shrink cancer cells" or "A miracle liver detox formula cures without surgery." The emotional brain of the elderly, fearful of death, prefers to believe comforting messages.
Once elderly viewers watch alternative health or life coach clips, the algorithm suggests hundreds or thousands of similar videos. This leads them to mistakenly believe "everyone in the world says this," making warnings from children or doctors seem like a minority "who don't really know."
As they age, their role in the household diminishes, and they depend financially and for care on their children. Being told what not to eat makes them feel a loss of control. Secretly buying supplements based on trusted influencers' advice is a way to assert "I still can make choices and take care of myself" without relying on anyone.
If families face this problem, reacting with emotion, arguing, or confiscating phones only increases resistance and covert behavior. Effective, lasting solutions include the following methods.
Reduce sarcastic remarks like "I warned you, but you never listen" and instead ask concerned questions such as "Where did you find this information? It sounds interesting; shall we check it together?" Showing solidarity helps lower mental barriers.
If a child says, "TikTok people are deceiving you; don't believe them!" parents will immediately defend. Instead, show shared curiosity: "That person speaks well, Mom, but I'm worried about your kidneys. Let's look up this supplement's FDA approval together to see if it's safe."
Since elders enjoy short videos, children should find brief clips from reputable doctors or medical influencers (like Dr. Lab Panda, or short clips from Siriraj or Ramathibodi hospitals) that warn about supplement dangers in simple language, and frequently share these in family chat groups to influence the algorithms on their devices.
Before medical appointments, children can covertly photograph or screenshot the supplements their parents secretly take and send them to nurses or notify the attending physician. This allows doctors to directly address and warn patients using blood test and CT scan evidence, which carries the most weight in making patients aware of the risks.
Reduce daily transfer limits on elderly people's banking apps or convert their main savings account into a joint account requiring children's signatures to prevent large transfers for buying misleading products or expensive life coaching courses.
The issue of elderly trusting outsiders more than family reflects a possible lack of "safe space and acceptance" at home. Taking time to listen to them talk about TikTok clips, engaging warmly without sarcasm, and involving them in shared activities can reduce loneliness and social isolation, serving as the best defense against unscrupulous scammers or influencers interfering with the health and life of your loved ones.