What is money, and how should we relate to it?
What is money? Though this question seems simple, it becomes complex when viewed in the context of real life. For some, money represents security that allows them to sleep peacefully at night. For others, it is freedom to choose their life path without depending on anyone else. Yet for many who may not even realize it, money has become a measure of their self-worth, though they don’t know when this began.
In today's world, people no longer use money just to buy necessities. Instead, money is used to create social status, build an image, and foster a feeling of having "succeeded enough" compared to others. The problem arises when money turns into a competition arena; happiness gradually gives way to pressure, and many find themselves not working for life but living entirely to maintain a success image built for others.
Warren Buffett, the legendary global investor, once said
"If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need."
This statement clearly reflects the truth of the modern world. In many cases, people do not use money out of necessity but according to feelings and expectations driven by social pressure around them. As income rises, living standards tend to rise as well. Many thus enter a cycle of working harder, spending more, and pressuring themselves just to maintain the image of success they have created.
Behavioral economics introduces the concept of the Hedonic Treadmill, which explains that humans quickly adapt to the happiness gained from new possessions or income. Afterwards, they require increasingly more to feel the same pleasure again. This is why many people, despite having higher incomes and more assets, feel more tired, stressed, and less happy. What was once a 'reward of life' gradually becomes an 'obligation of life' without them realizing it.
Psychologist and happiness researcher Arthur Brooks from Harvard University explained that money does not create happiness directly; rather, how one uses money determines long-term quality of life. Many people choose to spend money on projecting an external image to look good to others, while those who are sustainably happy tend to spend money on things that genuinely improve life, such as health, family relationships, time, learning, or meaningful experiences.
Research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running happiness studies in the world, has proven that the biggest factors affecting long-term happiness are not wealth levels but the quality of relationships, mental health, and life balance. This study followed over 700 participants for nearly 80 years, concluding in contrast to popular belief that money is the solution to all problems.
In many cases, people who use money to 'buy time'—such as hiring help for household tasks, resting when the body signals, or investing in preventive health—have better quality of life than those who spend every penny competing for status. Money spent to improve life often creates 'freedom,' while money spent competing with others often creates 'pressure.'
Another notable aspect of modern society is that humans are constantly exposed to dopamine stimulation, whether through online shopping with next-day delivery, investing in highly volatile assets, gambling in various forms, or receiving praise and acceptance on social media.
In the short term, dopamine provides motivation and excitement, but when the brain becomes accustomed to high continuous stimulation, people find it increasingly difficult to feel 'normal' satisfaction from ordinary things. Many therefore want more income and higher status but feel less happy because their threshold of 'enough' keeps moving further away.
Many psychologists and neuroscientists warn that continuous dopamine stimulation can harm work-life balance, concentration, and mental health long-term, as the brain becomes addicted to 'excitement' rather than 'calm.' When sitting quietly alone, people may feel uncomfortable, as if calmness has become alien.
This explains why many people, despite financial success and having everything the world says they should have, cannot rest well and feel like their life is running nonstop without knowing where to stop.
Morgan Housel, a financial writer and author of The Psychology of Money, once said
"The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, 'I can do whatever I want today.'"
Ultimately, true wealth may not be having a bank account full of digits but living a life without needing to prove anything to anyone, without having to show off, and without carrying external expectations on one’s shoulders every day.
True financial freedom doesn’t mean having enough money to buy everything but having enough money not to be controlled by money. This difference may seem small but has a huge impact on quality of life. Those chasing 'having the most' often remain exhausted throughout life, while those pursuing 'having enough and being free' often find happiness much sooner.
In a world moving faster and where success is measured by numbers, people may need to seriously ask whether money in our lives is a 'tool for life' or has become something that 'controls life.' The line between these two is thin, and many cross it unknowingly.
The difference between happy and unhappy people with equal money often lies not in the account balance but in their attitude towards money. Those who see money as a tool use it with purpose, while those who view money as a symbol of self-worth use it to satisfy emotions continuously, creating an endless cycle.
Investing in self-knowledge—understanding financial behavior, emotional relationships with money, and motivations behind financial decisions—may be the most valuable investment a person can make, as it influences every financial decision throughout life.
Perhaps what truly happy people understand is not about earning the most money but about knowing what kind of money to use, how to use it, and for what purpose, to genuinely improve life in the long run—not to appear better in others’ eyes but to feel better in one’s own.