Research published in the journal Nature Human Behaviour reveals that in 2024, more than 130 million children worldwide faced sexual violence. However, this is only a statistical figure, as many cases go unreported. What we must realize is that these are not just numbers, but lives suffering wounds that may never fully heal, even as they grow older.
Although child abuse is already the worst kind of harm, it is even harder to imagine the feelings when the perpetrator is a family member—a family that should be a safe space. Victims must endure a life of silent suffering, especially when they decide to tell their family but receive no help because everyone chooses to remain silent.
When adults in the household choose to turn a blind eye out of fear of confrontation or to protect their honor and dignity, this can indirectly support the violence. It allows the perpetrator to escape accountability while causing pain to the victim, as the family—the ones who should protect them most—turn their backs. Meanwhile, the victim must endure seeing the offender living openly under the same roof.
These experiences reinforce a victim’s sense that their own safety is not important. Bearing emotional wounds while struggling to survive can lead them to gradually erode their own identity.
The truth becomes dangerous.
In many cases, when victims disclose abuse or family dysfunction within the home, they are abandoned and rejected by other family members. Summoning the courage to confront the issue often results in feeling punished rather than supported, leaving them feeling like the problem themselves.
Family rejection at the time victims most need help makes them feel that their 'voice' is dangerous. Speaking the truth can backfire and harm them, and worse, some begin to doubt whether the abuse actually happened or if it makes sense. Over time, this internalized doubt makes it difficult for them to open up to others later, even in safer circumstances.
Forced to pretend to survive.
Outsiders who learn about the abuse often say things like, “You seemed happy before, so why only now reveal the abuse?” Such statements show a lack of empathy and misunderstanding of victims. After learning to stay silent, victims often try to act as if everything is fine. Even worse, families may expect them to maintain this facade.
Therefore, pretending that everything at home is normal, pretending to be someone other than themselves, or pretending nothing bad happened becomes a survival skill. Because their safety depends on hiding their true selves, showing their real identity feels unsafe.
Many victims struggle to accept and value their own truth, even after decades of abuse and family rejection.
Escaping from painful memories.
Phrases like “Maybe they love me,” “Maybe it wasn’t that bad,” or “Maybe I’m just overthinking” are forms of denial victims use to convince themselves the abuse didn’t really happen, protecting themselves from pain. While this may prevent immediate emotional breakdown, it causes long-term difficulty trusting their own memories, experiences, and feelings.
Additionally, spending decades convincing themselves their childhood abuse wasn’t severe or that they somehow deserved it can lead to repeating similar abuse cycles as adults.
Building thick walls and relying on no one.
When those we once trusted hurt us, and other family members reject us, many victims learn not to rely on anyone. They fear asking for help might lead to more rejection or disappointment, which would trigger even greater vulnerability and pain.
These feelings contribute to victims feeling isolated and exhausted, making it hard to accept help. They may also struggle to form open, close relationships.
Paranoia and feeling undeserving of love.
Many victims develop feelings that “I am wrong and what I am is wrong” after being rejected by their families—whether rejecting the violence itself or their values. These feelings become deeply ingrained, and even when victims later learn to accept and love themselves, the sense of rejection from those who should love them remains. Simply existing and being authentic can feel risky.
Because those who should love unconditionally are the first to turn away, victims often fear abandonment as they grow up. This can lead to excessive vigilance and sometimes sabotage relationships before they develop. Some feel like a burden and undeserving of love.
Ultimately, being a victim is not their fault; the perpetrator is to blame. Those in such situations should remember they are not alone. Consulting doctors and seeking therapy can be a path to healing those wounds, sooner or later.
For those who have not experienced this, please listen with empathy. Do not judge those who reveal their stories, as speaking out is already extremely difficult for them. Do not deepen their pain by adding to their emotional wounds.
Those facing violence can seek help and advice at:
1. Social Assistance Center (Ministry of Social Development and Human Security): Hotline 1300 (Emergency reporting and 24-hour assistance).
2. Paveena Hongsakul Foundation for Children and Women: Hotline 1134 (Support for abused children and women).
3. Mental Health Hotline (Department of Mental Health): 1323 (For counseling, consultation, and emotional healing).
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