Should I cut ties with a friend who once helped me in difficult times?
A stray animal owner wants help. Should I ask to buy from him?
I'm having an affair with my friend's wife. What should I do?
Should I distance myself from a problematic friend?
These are difficult questions, like those found in social studies or ethics classes, where we debate how to respond appropriately or effectively. These questions are not special or dramatized; they are common real-life problems asked by ordinary people seeking guidance. Kwame Anthony Appiah A philosophy professor at New York University and author of The Ethicist column in the New York Times.
The Ethicist is a column that has appeared in the magazine for over 27 years. Its purpose is to receive ethical dilemmas from readers and analyze them using philosophical perspectives. Although some problems may not strictly require philosophical thinking, Appiah tries to find answers that avoid extremes. The questions and answers cover topics from friendship, family, and business to social issues like the ethics of using AI to write movie scripts or perspectives on vaccines during the COVID-19 pandemic.
In many articles, Appiah approaches problems and explains them clearly, almost like a psychotherapist or counselor. His language is straightforward without detours or leading readers into complex philosophical ideas. For example, one question concerned a mother worried about her daughter's weight. The daughter had been a dancer with a slim figure and was determined enough to take dance classes. However, upon entering university, she focused more on studies and gave up her dream. After that, she began eating more and gained worrying weight. The mother wanted to warn her daughter about her weight but feared it might be body shaming. She asked how to communicate this so her daughter understands without distancing herself from the family.
Appiah addressed the issue of body shaming first, saying that if the mother truly cares about her daughter's health, she should not consider it body shaming. The key is choosing words focused on health and speaking as an adult to another adult. He emphasized avoiding comparisons to when the daughter was slim, as that might imply preferring who she was rather than who she is now.
However, Appiah has received questions requiring real philosophical thinking, such as how much one should pay to save a dog's life. The owner felt that instead of spending vast sums on chemotherapy for the dog, the money might better help the world. This classic dilemma is similar to one faced by utilitarian philosopher Peter Singer, torn between using money to help others or a sick mother. Appiah agrees: from a utilitarian viewpoint, the question is what yields the greatest benefit. Money spent to treat one dog might instead fix a car, pay a mortgage, or provide essentials for survival.
Another question was, "I'm gay but can I lie and not tell my father so he will pay for my tuition until I graduate?" Appiah advised telling the truth to the father and said he does not believe parents have the right to stop supporting their child's education. He noted that lies often lead to worse outcomes. At this point, Appiah did not explicitly mention that he was applying Immanuel Kant's universal rule that humans should not lie.
Some questions invite disagreement, such as: "My partner says he would rather save our cat than a stranger drowning. Is that wrong?" Appiah introduced the conflict between utilitarianism and personal attachment. He suggested that helping humans is more important because humans can have responsibilities toward each other more than animals, even if we feel more attached to pets. This answer might feel uncomfortable since personal bonds vary in value for different people. Appiah’s perspective appears to lean more toward utilitarian ethics than other ethical frameworks.
The Ethicist originally did not have a serious tone. In 1999, the columnist was Randy Cohen, who seemed more a comedian than a philosopher but offered sharp advice on appropriate behavior. After Cohen left in 2011 to start his own radio show, the column was continued by Ariel Kaminer, who originated the idea, and Chuck Klosterman, a writer with an interesting pop culture perspective. Appiah took over in 2015 and seems a perfect fit, being a philosophy professor able to apply ethical principles.
The Ethicist shows that life is something we bear alone. Many have internal struggles and don’t know how to manage them. The column demonstrates that philosophy, especially ethics, is not an elite, endless debate but a guide or tool for deciding that “we have more than one or two options.” Deep down, Appiah doesn’t expect everyone to agree or act on his advice; he offers a broader view with factors to consider. He has said he sees himself as a pragmatist who values practical philosophy most and does not often agree with philosophers who dwell on perfect ethical theories.
“I believe a philosopher’s role in society is to provide tools for thinking, not to tell people what to do. Each person is the master of their own life and must find their own way. It’s difficult, but good to have some help,” Appiah said at the Live! At the Library event in the Library's Coolidge Auditorium in 2024.
This may explain why schools and universities teach ethics or basic philosophy. These disciplines develop foundational analytical logic that broadens our view beyond black-and-white thinking. With enough analytical skills, we may no longer struggle or feel isolated when solving problems, as these skills stay with us and grow when facing more challenging life issues. The Ethicist column is a good example showing that philosophy is not distant but much closer than we think.
The dilemmas can be followed and read athttps://www.nytimes.com/column/the-ethicist
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