If you have felt this way, try finding time to reconnect with yourself more. Being with yourself doesn't mean being isolated and alone; rather, it means allowing yourself to truly enjoy what you want, doing what you like, going where you wish, and simply following your heart.
Amidst many people, the person we should know best and listen to most is often the one we forget—the self that gets lost in relationships or social expectations. Thairath Plus invites everyone to‘pause’to spend time and find happiness with oneself through Solo Dates. No matter your circumstances, we want everyone to spend time and enjoy their own company as much as possible.
Because doing a Solo Date doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely or without company. As Paul Tillich, the German-American philosopher, explained, we must distinguish between‘loneliness’and‘being alone.’Being alone does not always mean feeling lonely. Conversely, one might feel lonelier amidst a crowd because we tie our happiness too much to others.
Loneliness reflects the pain of being by oneself, whereas solitude is a chosen, quality time spent with oneself.
Therefore, Solo Dates help shift the mindset from loneliness—feeling a need and waiting for someone to fill that void—toward solitude, where we spend time with ourselves, recognize our worth, and find happiness independently without depending on anyone else.
This aligns with Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes relying on one’s own heart. Being able to eat, watch movies, listen to music, or walk alone happily without tying our happiness to others is true freedom—freedom in the heart that arises when we do not depend on external stimuli or social approval.
Spending quality time alone also benefits the brain and emotions, as explained by Self-Determination Theory, which states humans have basic needs for autonomy and choice.
When we are with others, no matter how close or loved, we expend energy and often unconsciously play different roles.
Solo Dates create a space to freely decide and choose what we truly like, helping us regain self-confidence.
Additionally, Solo Dates help us become aware of our emotions because our brain’s Default Mode Network activates during breaks from external stimuli. Being alone in a relaxed atmosphere reduces stress hormones and helps the brain process accumulated emotions efficiently.
Research published in the Journal of Consumer Research by Rebecca K. Ratner and Rebecca W. Hamilton found that people who go on Solo Dates feel‘greater self-worth’and‘unrestricted freedom to absorb their surroundings,’because they don't have to care about others’ feelings and can focus solely on their own desires.
Ratner also explained,“People tend to underestimate the happiness from enjoyable solo activities due to fear of strangers’ judgment. But in reality, no one pays that much attention. Once we overcome this fear, we discover unique happiness that comes only from ourselves.”
Conversely, lacking personal time can cause accumulated stress known as Aloneliness—stress from not being alone. An article in Psychology Today titled Not Getting Enough Time Alone Can Be a Problem explains that people without personal time often have higher stress and more relationship problems than those who have time for themselves.
This happens because they lack moments to pause, reflect, and process daily emotions. When limited patience diminishes, even small issues can trigger conflicts.
Deep down, we trust those we love and might unknowingly vent emotions onto them. Without personal time to manage our feelings, we inadvertently hurt loved ones and weaken relationships.
Ultimately, giving ourselves space, time, and happiness without expecting or waiting for love and joy from others is the foundation for fully sharing happiness with others.
The more we embrace and appreciate ourselves, the more we can embrace and value others. Then we can love and accept those around us wholeheartedly.
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